The dogs make their presence known

Worse indignities than a dented, plastic cone?  How about one decorated in rainbow stickers by a two-year old who can pull rank on you.

Hello, Due Date! G'bye, Due Date!  It's now the morning after and I am really tired.  But not birthin' tired.  Terrible dogs tired.  Billy has decided to ring in the new family member by giving himself endless hotspots - that is, patches of skin compulsively licked and bitten raw.  First his paws, now his rump.  And hence the cone atop his Schnoodle head.  Edie is very fascinated with the cone.  She would like to try it on, in fact.  Which has caused me to draw an unanticipated line in the sand for my general liberal policy on letting my daughter express herself.  Can she call her mom "Stinky Butt"?  Yeah.  She's two.  And it was pretty funny.  But when she sits on the floor, sticks her own foot in her mouth, and says "Yookit, mommy! I chew on my foot! I can wear cone now?"  the answer is, I'm afraid, no, dear. 

And then last night, as Will and I began our night's sleep, both a little excited that maybe, *just* maybe, that baby would come calling pretty soon, we begin to hear a "HACK!! HACK HACK!! *phlegm sounds* HACK!!"  Hmmm.  Doesn't seem like a labor sign.  But should I google it? No, that's Sugar.  The decidedly dumber but usually less psychosomatically afflicted dog.  It's midnight, so I do what every good dog owner does.  I reach over the bed and poke her, saying "Hey! Stop hacking!" She does not. And my poke reveals something far more putrid than the animal herself.  Vomit.  And lots of it.  So we are up.  And we attend to one of the most vile trails of dogs-eat-disgusting-things-and-then-their-people-pay that I have ever had the misfortune to deal with.  There is disinfecting, throwing out of dog beds, mopping, and full dog bathing.  I will say one thing, Will and I really are a good team during moments like this.  We aren't exactly gazing lovingly at one another, but we are both in there, getting things done, and not giving a lot of guff.

So, HI DOGS! We know you are here.  We will continue to feed and walk you.  Edie will pet you.  PLEASE CALL OFF YOUR CAMPAIGN OF GROSS.